What I’m about to type next might be the corniest thing you hear today, but I’m telling you that it’s true – For me, ‘Birthday blues’ simply means that this girl who identifies as a blue being on a spiritual level is going to be a year older, and is thus ready to turn the fuck up.
Having made this clear, I am well aware of the fact that ‘birthday blues’ in its original context is a real experience for a lot of people.
Not everyone is big on birthdays, for starters. I know of people that don’t celebrate their birthdays or bug about it just because they don’t see it as anything extra special. But then, I also know of people who don’t celebrate their birthdays, don’t talk about it, or don’t even want to hear about it because it reminds them that they’re growing older, and they can’t seem to be able to handle this reality.
Ergo, every time their birthday comes around, they get ‘birthday blues’.
While it may exist, it’s really difficult for me to remember a birthday of mine that I didn’t celebrate in one way, shape, form, or another. I just tried now and it’s truly difficult. Yo, I throw/get thrown whole parties! I love them!!
Thus, for me, my birthdays are always a thing to look forward to. Even this year, when I basically took a vow to not do anything (also because a girl is broke), my friend goes, “I’m taking you to Bottles to celebrate. Tell some other people.” So, I start making a guest list and looking for what to wear.
I do remember my 10th birthday though. Oh my goodness was I sad! Folks threw me (and a half-sister of mine) a lovely house party, and I remember going to my room in the middle of it to cry at some point.
My dad came to find me, and I think I told him it was because my mum wasn’t there (They were no longer together). Although, I honestly don’t know for sure that this is or was the whole truth.
They’re a number of reasons why people get the birthday blues, some of which are even medical. However, one popular reason is the feeling that they have not met and exceeded expectations set for them by social constructs.
For example, for women, not being married at 26 or at all, is a huge social pressure. For men, maybe not being as accomplished as their mates. In general, it’s people not knowing what to do with their life, or where it’s going, and yet another year has “passed”.
I’m not saying I have never been apprehensive when my birthday rolls around. I have. In fact, I remember once telling my friend that I wasn’t happy. Maybe some things were happening around that period, I forget now.
I saw or read somewhere once that people only feel depressed about their birthdays because they’re not happy with their lives thus far. I believe there’s a truth in there.
Yet, another truth is, unhappiness does not necessarily wait for your birthday to rear its head. You can be unhappy at any time in your life. So, even though I constantly set goals for myself, the biggest of them all is always that I LIVE my LIFE to my heart’s content. Shikena.
For instance, I’ve never – and will never – put pressure on myself to be married or ‘accomplished’ at any age, or be anything really that benefits a social construct more than adds to my well-being or improvement. (First of all, have you seen how quickly you turn 26?? Hahahaha. Second of all, me and marriage… A whole other blog).
Self-improvement is so important to me that, if I ever worry about anything whenever my birthday rolls around, it’s whether I’m ready to take the opportunity of yet another new year to live up to the goals I’ve set for myself to do and become things that make ME proud.
For me, another year is another exciting opportunity to discover a ‘refreshed’ me. I think I got lucky that early enough in life I learnt if you’re too busy chasing life on other people’s terms, then you’re not living it. Because, there’s no way you’re doing things YOU want to do that way.
Then before you know it, all you have to look back on is a life filled with regrets, with leaps not taken (word to James Donovan Halliday), and roads not travelled.
That thought just depressed me a little.
And that’s what everyone should be more scared of – An unfulfilled life. Because, again, time WILL keep doing what it does. What are you going to do about it?
I suggest you really take several seats with yourself and ask what is it YOU want from life, and check if you’re doing anything remotely close enough to getting those things.
Really take stock of your life; do I love who I am? Am I happy with the choices I make? Am I doing things I like? Do I like the people I’m surrounded by?
How about my profession/career? Do I like my romantic partner? Do I want a romantic partner, or do I just want to have sex? Am I having enough sex? Have I drunk water today? Do I eat enough? How am I contributing to society? To the only planet I have?
…You know, such crucial existential questions.
If after this, you’re lucky enough to be on the right path of your life, as you should decide and enjoy, I ASSURE you turning a year older would NOT be a thing that makes you scared or sad.
Because, WHY? Why should it? Growing older is a beautiful thing! In fact, some would argue it’s a gift that not many get to enjoy, and I agree.
Every now and then, I imagine myself as an older woman, and then as an old woman, and I can’t tell you all the things I imagine (because some are NSFW), but I can tell you that I always have a smile on my face. A happy, content, and maybe mischievous smile.
So, with each day, I’m going to take a step to ensure that – if I’m lucky enough – I’m that old, smiling lady with a head full of gray hair, and that’s why I since reclaimed ‘birthday blues’ for myself. That’s my feel good vibes on my birthday!! I mean, there’s probably a reason why they put “happy” with it, right?
I’m telling you, with each year I turn, I feel more aware, wise, confident, sexy, powerful, and I know the only thing that can stop me from achieving all the intangible things I desire in life is me. Because, I mean, the Nigerian economy does not help you when it comes to the material aspect. But, #WeMove
Sign-off reads: “I always try to have a happy birthday. I truly wish you the same.”
