Most of us establish routines to form the necessary habits needed to journey towards our goals of wellness, self-improvement, and development in our personal and/or professional lives. Or we’ve heard that forming certain habits are crucial to improving our overall well-being. Usually, the ability to establish the routines that enable us to form these habits is not only a metric for success but one of the most evident indicators of a disciplined approach to reaching our goals.
Yet, not everyone finds it easy or enjoyable to establish and manage routines, even when they are for our personal betterment. I for one do not. Why? Well, intentionally forming a new habit is hard and routines can be monotonous. Period. Obviously, I’ll elaborate, but we best get that clear and out of the way.
By now, you must have tons of habits that you didn’t even realise when they formed, like washing your hair a particular way or watching a movie while eating, or starting work at a specific time every day. But, they are now part of the things that you do without thought or the hope for a reward, unlike routines. This leads us to the next point.
We tend to confuse routines with habits. Yes, the activities mentioned above can be part of your regular routines, but not all your routines are nor can become your habits. This matters because if we can make the necessary distinction between both concepts, we could be even closer to having an efficient approach to developing the routines that become the habits that help us reach our well-being goals.
Routine or habit?
While both terms consist of actions that are frequently repeated, a routine is a deliberate set of actions that follow an order and are part of the everyday things you may do out of habit. For instance, your morning routine may consist of drinking water first, then doing a light exercise, followed by brushing your teeth, and then having a bath before you have breakfast.
Habits, on the other hand, are practically automatic. They are usually subconscious or even unconscious things that we do throughout our day. So while you may not go a single day without doing all the things we mentioned above that make up your morning routine, you might not always do them all or in that particular order if they have not yet become a habit.
But, if that morning routine has become a habit, you do it the same way every day and you do it on autopilot. In this case, simply waking up is probably the trigger for your habit to carry out your morning routine.
And that’s what makes habits powerful and popular when it involves things that can significantly improve our lives.
Why you’re struggling to establish a new routine or form a new habit
For every new habit, a strict set of routines seem to apply to get it to stick. Want to be an exceptional writer? Practice every day. Want to become a social media influencer? Create content and post every day, and so forth.
However, for those that struggle to perform under stringencies or maintain interest in something over a period of time – like a new routine – the new goal then appears unappealing or unattainable. And once the routines cannot be sustained, we end up feeling like failures.
But that is not remotely the case. Routines may be the surest way to develop the habits that are key to living your best life, but not everyone can go about them the same way. Not everyone feels like working out every day, reading every day, or even eating every day. I mean, not me. I must eat. But, you know, some people.
You’re probably now asking, “So, what do we do about it? We do need to form new habits, or we won’t improve”. Correct. That’s the section of this article we’re now at – What we can do about it.
Start by deciding what you really want
#Crucial. Because how can you work towards achieving something if it’s not for you or doesn’t even sit well with your spirit in the first place? Ask yourself if you really want to have a six-pack or if you’re just working out because you’ve been conditioned to believe it’s what the ‘perfect body’ consists of. Dig deep and discover if you want to be an entrepreneur before you start picking up all those books and doing ‘entrepreneur things’.
Knowing what you want is a powerful tool in establishing the right routines for you to form the habits pivotal to getting where you want or even need to be. Using fitness as an example, I decided what is of utmost importance to me – to the human body in fact – is mobility and flexibility.
I have aspirations to maintain hotness well into my golden years. Because how will it work if my joints leave the building when I want to drop it low? Ehn? I really shudder to think.
Now bear in mind that some goals should be for everyone, just because of the clear benefits they provide. Like exercising no matter how slight. Yet, as we mentioned earlier, not everyone will still care nor should they, I guess.
However, should you want it, think about what you really want out of it, and move on to the next step.
Find what works for you
Start by identifying your struggles. I found that it is virtually impossible for me to work out without an instructor of some kind. I honestly can’t say I’m certain why, but it is what it is. Also, to be fair, I can’t confidently call the things I do to stay agile working out.
Because I don’t care about fitness enough to make going to the gym a routine, have the resources to have an instructor come to me, nor have the motivation to just get up and exercise, I turn to YouTube videos. Gotta love the free resources on the Internet.
Still, even with the videos, I find I have to keep it interesting to stay on track. For example, I use different mobility and flexibility videos on different days, and I switch the order in which I go through them from time to time.
You half the work that needs to be done when you understand the way your body and mind respond to the things you want and identify your learning patterns.
And then what do you do next?
Go at your own pace
Now, to reach my goals of flexibility and mobility I have to make exercising a habit, right? Have to establish a routine? The answer to both of those queries is yes. Do I though? The answer is… sort of.
Having learned that videos are the way to get me motivated and in fact show me the required exercises and techniques to accomplish my fitness goals, I went ahead to set my own ‘KPIs’ and draw my own pictures of success. Because, for one, the instructors in those videos are not my mates, and I can confidently say I may never, ever, ever, ever, be on their level.
You know what that is? OKAY. It goes without saying, in fact.
It’s a video made for this sort of purpose! I don’t think they wake up every day with the same levels of energy and intensity. And even if, I don’t feel the need to go at their speed or reach degrees they can. This also applies the other way around – I don’t feel the need to stay at their speed or level if I feel I can do more at every given time or rep.
Note that the keyword there for me is “feel”. This is equally important because, as a human that operates on a 28-day cycle, it is imperative I know how I’m feeling to be able to function. Depending on the day, this can vary from minute to minute, lol. #IYKYK
So, I balance my exercises based on what I need and what my body can handle. This also means accepting the fact that it may take me longer to reach my goals. Because of setbacks, for instance.
Therefore…
Don’t be afraid to reset or refresh your goals
What’s important is reaching them. So, if you have to take several steps back or even go all the way back to the drawing board, do so. They’re YOUR goals.
We’ve already noted that forming habits is not an easy feat, so of course you may stumble here and there. So what? If you really want to form the habit though, don’t be deterred whenever your routine wavers. If a part of it is becoming too much to handle, remove, replace, refresh, or reset. Make whatever tweaks you need to and resume.
For instance, reminders may be the cues that work best for you to get your routine started. They help me for sure. Also, you may find that attaching rewards to the end of your routine helps you form the perfect habit loop. Or that you may need to elevate your approach and create rituals instead of routines. These options are all at your fingertips.
Yet, you may ask, ”What if I really tried to follow all the steps in their recommended order up to this point, and I’m still struggling?”
Don’t be afraid to give up
Look, giving up can be sweet sometimes. If this habit is not for you, leave it. Pick up another one. If that one also encounters a roadblock, leave it and pick up another one. Nobody will beat you!!
Need I say more?
Fine. As I mentioned before there are certain habits that should be goals for everyone who wants to live life optimally. But if forming or not forming them does not affect the quality of your experience of life, you mustn’t feel the need to try because that’s what’s being pushed out there.
Giving up doesn’t always mean succumbing to defeat or taking on a defeatist or nihilist perspective. It means you’re conscious enough to know if something isn’t for you or has stopped being for you.
Having said all of this, the bottom line is…
Keep winning in life!
If you must get stuck at any of the steps above, let it be the first one, please. Because, when you know what you want in and from life, you will always on some level already be on track to win on your terms.
That’s it from me. Or maybe I’m just tired of typing, who knows? (I do).
Signing off with the hope that you’re able to learn how to live YOUR best life every time.
